As Finn sat at the table in the mostly empty hospital cafeteria with Rachel, he found himself opening up in ways he had trouble doing with anyone else. Closing himself off and existing somewhere between a living zombie and a puppet was how he’d spend the past few days. He was polite when the nurses would speak to him or when people would stop by Michelle’s room to ask. He always put on a brave face and promised them that he hadn’t lost hope. It was becoming increasingly difficult, and less honest with each passing day. But with Rachel he couldn’t be that way. There was something about the look she’d give him that had him spilling it all before he could help himself. The concern in her eyes for him despite everything she was going through, was a giant reminder of the kind of warm person she’d always had been. Time apart hadn’t changed that.
Feeling her hand as it enveloped his, Finn took comfort in the warmth of her touch. It was nothing like holding onto Michelle’s hand like he so often did as he sat by her beside. Her hand was eerily still and unresponsive, a reminder as to how wrong things were even as it looked like her eyes could open any second. Rachel’s was comforting and strong like she was convincing him she could taking any problems he had to talk about. With one touch of her hand, she conveyed that this wasn’t something he had to do alone, and in that moment, he let her. Turning his hand, he held her hand back, using it as a lifeline to the hope he felt slipping away.
Listening to Rachel’s words, the experience that they came from shown through. He could tell they weren’t empty or meaningless, but rather the same lessons she was trying to teach herself after endless days in the hospital. “It’s out of your hands now.” The truth to that statement was the hardest part to take. The waiting to see if she’d wake up, if her condition would improve, if the latest round of tests would bring with it more answers, it was all frustrating. “It’s so hard. All the waiting. It feels like my life is stuck on pause while everything keeps going all around me, and then I feel like a jerk for even thinking that way. Michelle is the one laying in there, and I can‘t even keep it together for her. But then it‘s like…she‘s laying there sleeping, and left me here to deal with all of this, and it pisses me off. What kind of guy get‘s pissed off at his girlfriend for being in a coma.”
As Finn’s eyes fell to their hands that were together, he tried to get a grip on his emotions that were so scattered, he never knew where they’d land once he started expressing them. “And you’re here, be so great to me when I don’t deserve any of it. I know how much you love the stage and wanted Broadway, but now you’re here and being so great to me. I can see why you wanted to leave now. I couldn’t then, but I just wanted you to know that I get it now.”